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Desperately Copulating
"We're back to evolution, aren't we? The record companies are like these mad Darwinian dinosaurs that are constantly merging with each other, desperately copulating to try and stay alive, while everything around them is changing. Everyone's paranoid about it but I actually love this scene. It's much more attuned with where we were, with mixtapes and DJing and ripping things apart, stealing and borrowing. We were the greatest thieves of our generation, and now it feels like we belong in this scene again."
"Right now you take it the way you want it. The conditions are yours to set. Even though a lot of people are choosing not to pay for music, that's a natural part of its evolution. People might start to pay again when they see that what they're paying for is valuable. If someone held your music collection up for ransom, and you knew that paying the ransom would be the only way you'd ever hear any of it again, how much would you pay?
- Massive Attack's 3D, interviewed in this week's Venue.
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It's crap
"Valentine's day is crap, especially if you're a man, as you have to spend all the money. It never goes the other way round. Or rarely. When you have a girlfriend, you have to take her out to a nice place and you can't just buy the house wine, you've got to get a nice wine. I buy, they don't buy, that's just how it works. It's rubbish. The Beefeater down the road has a Valentine's Day special, all you can eat. I mean, no one's going to go there, surely?!"
- One member of the Bristolian public, on his feelings about Valentine's Day, this issue.
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Sweden - quite cheerful really.
It's the sound of five people from Sweden and London playing songs about time machines, arctic exploration, small town despair and the end of the world. And I suppose that it all comes from sleepless nights, time spent in forests and lakes, time spent reading and time spent dancing.
- Anglo-Scandinavian band Fanfarlo (in their own words) in this week's Venue.
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Jokes
Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he
begins to think irrationally?
Ever wonder why?
It's because she smells like a new car.
(Thanks Jack)
Q. What is hard and six inches long?
A. A pen is.
(We stole that one from http://www.b3ta.com)
How do you annoy Lady Gaga?
Poke her face
(Thanks http://www.thebartender.co.uk)
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "I was out for a walk, and I came upon a gang of big nasty Hells Angels who were intimidating a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone NOW, or you'll answer to me'."
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
The man looked at his watch. "About 5 minutes ago..."
(Thanks Richard you win this week's star prize Mail us a postal address and we'll sort you with a couple of travel games.)
Please send us jokes. Best one each week wins some stuff. Don't delay - email editor@venue.co.uk now and slide your funnyness into our eager inbox.
For all the Venue spam jokes ever click here
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Websites
And the moral is: never propose marriage in public. http://radiofail.wordpress.com
A love story cartoon http://abstrusegoose.com/234
Worst love letter ever written (NB: sweary) http://funnycrave.com/the-worst-love-letter-ever-written
Bath film fan Phil Raby's movie site. http://frontrowfilms.co.uk
Students? Lock 'em up in sea containers, sez I. http://www.designboom.com
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Valentine's Table Top Theatre for Two
This week, you could win an unforgettable Valentine's Day! 'Valentine's Table Top Theatre for Two', the brainchild of Bristol artist organisation Once, is a mystery package containing instructions, scripts, mini props and everything else you'll need for your own little romantic drama. To be in with a chance of winning a Valentine's Table Top Theatre For Two package ... well, you'll just have to get this week's Venue for the details.
There's also the chance to win tickets to see 'A Single Man' at the Watershed (and/or a copy of the book, which is by that Christopher Isherwood, you know).
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Severn Bore
Bristol City Council, along with LibrariesWest, wants to get more people into libraries. The campaign offers existing members a place in a free prize draw if they get someone else to join their local library before the end of April. The first 500 people to join get a free jute bag and the chance to hire their first DVD or CD for free.
Public Libraries are one of the great uncelebrated glories of Bristol, and yet they only have about 65,000 members, a mere 15% of the population.
Libraries are no longer just about books; you can hire CDs and DVDs or use the internet for free. There are author events, homework clubs, story-times for younger kids and, best of all, there's access to a huge amount of information online (from home or a library) which you would otherwise have to pay a lot of money for.
Libraries in general, and Bristol's in particular, have a long and proud history of bringing learning, life chances and simple pleasure to people whose access would otherwise be limited by class, culture and income.
Yet they're under threat. Recent years have seen all sorts of actual and potential horrors, from the loss of the music library to the threatened closure of the Central Library.
In the years to come, with the council having to make difficult spending choices, the danger is that our libraries will be bled to death by a thousand small cuts.
This must not happen. Sign up now and/or sign up a friend. The more members the libraries have, the harder it's going to be to cut staffing, opening hours and facilities when the time comes. And that time is coming soon.
See http://www.librarieswest.org.uk or visit your local library.
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Subscribe
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Please remember...
Please remember to buy this week's Venue. The management will give us all the leftover grape-pips from their last orgy if you do. We can burn them to keep warm.
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Cheers then.
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