* * * * *
Heavy Applause
Guitarist Dan Taylor on Bath band The Heavy's recent storming success on the Letterman show in the States - the first time a band's ever been asked to do an encore...
"It was all a bit surreal, we didn't know what was going on. I couldn't hear anything, I thought he had asked us to play another song and I was panicking as we had only rehearsed the one with the Dapkings. Apparently it was the first time in the show's history that he's asked a band to play again!"
Did you talk to Dave? "Nope, shook his hand and security rushed him away. I think he took Swaby's number though, they went out for a hot tub with Randy Jackson and Catherine Zeta-Jones..."
* * * * *
Channel Views
"I've lived on either side of the Bristol Channel (from the Welsh side, it's Mor Hafren, the Severn Sea) and in recent years crossed it sometimes almost daily. Every kind of weather, every time of day or angle of the light on it is different. It has a huge and complex personality, just like a person. And studying any one thing with really close attention gradually reflects everything going on around you, and inside you too. My other poetry collection of this year, 'I Spy Pinhole Eye', from Cinnamon Press, consists of looking as closely as that at a series of photographs by Simon Denison, of... the feet of electricity pylons. How dull and functional is that? But look at anything well enough, and everything is there."
- TS Eliot Prize-winning poet Philip Gross, interviewed this issue.
* * * * *
Spooky
"It was in New Zealand, and it was an apartment that Fran [his wife, screenwriter Fran Walsh] had. I woke up in the morning and there was a figure in the room. She was really scary. She had a screaming face, like a silent scream. Very accusatory. She was at the end of the bed and she glided across the room and disappeared into the wall. I sat in bed and wondered if I had really seen that. Then Fran came in. I said, 'I think I've seen a ghost'. I swear I had never spoken with her about this before, but the first thing she said was, 'Was it the woman with the screaming face?' Fran had seen the same woman in the same room about two years earlier."
- 'The Lovely Bones' director Peter Jackson on seeing a ghost, this issue.
* * * * *
Jokes
Q: How many indie fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It's a pretty obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it.
(Thanks Mal)
Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?
A: The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!
(Thanks to Ruth at http://www.beachbaker.co.uk)
Q: Why do elephants have big ears?
A: Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
(Thanks Lewis at http://www.thebartender.co.uk haven't heard that one in years.)
I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's dinner.
I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
(Thanks Simon. You WILL burn in Hell for that joke, and as this week's winner we'll begin your punishment by sending you a copy of 'CAMERON ON CAMERON; Conversations with Dylan Jones ("A must-read for anyone who wants to understand the man who would be Prime Minister") - mail us a postal address if you want it.)
Please send us jokes. Best one each week wins some stuff. OR you can be like Ruth and Lewis up there and send us a joke on behalf of your firm, club or conspiracy, and we'll tell everyone your web address. Don't delay - email editor@venue.co.uk now and titillate our inbox with your whimsy.
For all the Venue spam jokes ever click here
* * * * *
Websites
Want discount vouchers? And even an iPhone app for discounts? Then see this here local firm: http://www.vouchercloud.com
"Royal Semi-Nude Calendar" Awfully disrespectful and not very worksafe (PDF) http://mexicanwrestlingfederation.com
Anti-gay bigot fundamentalist demo and the counter protest http://laughingsquid.com
Scientific progress = sex robot that looks like Catherine Tate http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/02/01/sex.robot/index.html
Weird bits extracted from supermarket mags http://www.takeaweirdbreak.com
* * * * *
Competitions
Free stuff!
With this week's Venue, you could win a £50 voucher to spend at www.spunky.co.uk Spunky is more than just a clothing label, it's an art collective too. The Bristol-based online streetwear retailer, you see, specializes in limited edition T-shirts, hoodies, sweaters and accessories for men, women and kids based on artwork from independent designers. The label, which started life as the Spunky Sound System in the 1990s before turning its hand to fashion whilst its creators were at art college, prides itself on being 100% organic and is also about to become Fairtrade certified.
And to be in with a chance of some goodies, buy this week's Venue for details. And you'll also find the chance to win a meet and greet with Swedish hard rockers Europe when they come to the Bristol O2 Academy, plus gig tickets and other Europe goodies.
* * * * *
The Mists Of Time
20 years ago it was 16 Feb 1990 and this is some of the stuff that was in Venue back then ...
"What will save this country is the black people, particularly the West Indian community. The white working class are easily bought off, man - just a bit of MFI furniture and a few fitted carpets and they'll toe the line. I don't like Thatcher but I think the country gets the leader it deserves, so it's karmically perfect that we should have an old trollop like that on the firm. She spreads fear." Jah Wobble talking to Venue just before he came to the Thekla with his Invaders of the Heart... "Tanita Tikaram, Colston Hall, Bristol, Tues 20 Feb: Sickeningly winsome teen Elvis lookalike peddling shallow, secondhand bedsit angst to the self-consciously introspective and unimaginative. Her new LP, 'The Sweet Keeper' entered the charts at no. 2 last week."... "Hundreds gathered on College Green, Bristol, at 6pm last Sunday to celebrate the release of Nelson Mandela"... Everyone was looking forward to Bristol Uni Debating Society considering the motion 'This house would uphold the sanctity of marriage'. Proposing the motion was Dr Anthony Bush, chair of Bristol Family Life Association (nowadays the proprietor of Noah's Ark Zoo Farm. Ed.), and speaking to it would be Dr Adrian Rogers, Conservative Family Campaign consultant, who had previously claimed that "condoms cause AIDS" and that most people were homeless "through their own fault". Dr Rogers had campaigned so vigorously to clean up the streets of his home town, Exeter, that a senior police officer had admonished him that "we're not the Gestapo". Opposing the motion would be former brothel keeper Cynthia Payne. "If she becomes unduly lewd or uses foul language I would be obliged to leave the platform," promised Dr Rogers.
* * * * *
Subscribe
Don't miss out - place a regular order with your newsagent now or we'll show everyone the pictures of you posing in front of the mirror covered in blue emulsion, pretending you're a character out of Avatar. Alternatively, call us on 0117 942 8491 or email simon.butler@bepp.co.uk to subscribe to Venue for just £4.99 a month!
* * * * *
Please remember...
Please remember to buy this week's Venue. If you do the management have promised us each an annual bonus of 40p in First Bus change tickets.
* * * * *
Cheers then.
..................................
::: Venue SPAM
::: www.venue.co.uk
..................................
|
